I’ve confirmed by calling the County Clerks in Henderson and Van Zandt Counties that they do issue same sex marriage licenses in both places, despite their respective pledges to uphold the Constitution. I tried to get a clarification in the matter by calling the AG’s office in Austin, but was referred back to the county district attorney. Was that ever useless! I think he said that it was not a matter of criminal law but a “philosophical” question??? I asked him if “philosophically,” I wanted to marry a goat, could I get a license for that? He got all huffy and said that “of course” licenses are issued between human beings. Sensing his hostility I refrained from reminding hm that before the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage, “of course” meant between a man and a woman. Which reminds me we probably need to change the definition of “homophobia” to include “irrational prejudice against homo sapiens.” I checked out the application for a marriage license in Texas and it nowhere says it has to be between two human beings. The closest they come to it is mentioning a “fiance,” but nowhere is a species specified. The only hitch might be getting a state documented record of birth. Can a Veterinary Doc issue such a document? Also if the “fiance” is under 18 years old you have to have a signed consent from a parent or legal guardian. That shouldn’t be hard to get from a farmer.
And to show my complete tolerance I’m willing to marry a nanny and a billy at the same time. Am I open minded or what? (I suggest minimal contact with County or State Agencies in this matter, as I think all such offices are manned by certifiably insane officials, and it could be spread by casual contact.) We are on the bridal registry at Tractor Supply and her favorite color is pewter, but some scented udder cream might be nice.